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You can tell this is satire because Norman Lebrecht is excusing the orchestra. An interesting slant.

Rhiannon Paine

I will never watch a Proms concert in the same way again. This was even funnier than those Guardian sports writers who blogged Isner vs. Mahut using a zombie metaphor. Also, can you introduce me to Jean-Yves Embouchure? He sounds like just my type.

The Sis In Law

YES! This is it.

Actually, if one had 'Live Music Blogging' available to read during concerts, it would certainly improve my uninformed listening experience. There's also something to be said for the mid show analysis that totally contradicts the final analysis that you get with a post show review.

Gosh, apart from being highly funny, I'm starting to think this is a really good idea. It would even give a visually stimulated person like me something extra to look at, after I've counted the musicians and checked out the people sitting behind the orchestra etc.

I do think you need some special little graphics though, like the Beeb have in their 'as it happened' series. Maybe a ZZZZZZ symbol for snoozy bits and a cymbal or two for an excellent crescendo. And a clapometer is surely essential. You could even borrow from the footie and have 'goal' and 'penalty' graphics for particularly significant moments of artistry or otherwise.

Finally I insist that the less occupied members of the orchestra get to tweet along with the blog - the trombones for example... or that guy that plays the triangle for 2 mins in the 3rd movement. Much wit would abound surely.

I wait in anticipation :D

The Sis In Law

Oh yes, I forgot. Anyone who blogs that any musician, conductor or even audience member on the way to the toilet is 'On a charge' must be deleted from the Internet permanently and possibly internally combusted for good measure.

Lev Parikian

Its possible your suggestions may be taking it a bit too far for the people who want simply to listen to the music. But of course they could always turn that stuff off.
They did do a conductor-cam last year, with hushed and reverent commentary from an expert, on the lines of well-modulated opening there for Sir Charles. No fuss on that first pause. He exudes a very relaxed demeanour and this rubs off on the players.
The interesting contrast (and I know Im not comparing like with like, but what the hell) is that pundits at music events are much more reverent. There is never any question of a Hansen-type saying (at the interval or whenever) Im sorry but the first movement was far too fast, and the intonation was shocking.
Its as if theyve signed an obligatory enthusiasm clause in their punditry contract...


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